Not because it wasn't cordial or anything no I loved the stuff for a good long while I mean that concert was nice I've got the wristband to prove it only it doesn't glow much now and the thing is I just don't

feel

anything anymore.

Yeah I know a lot of people say that and it's mainly just a good excuse for sleazy men in mid-life crises cheating on their wives but I swear I never cheated I just never found the passion but I

wish

that I had.

…

I've got this stuffed animal on my bed that you didn't even give me but it reminds me of you it's got this bow tie the same shade you wore that one day you accidentally matched my dress and of course it's an elephant and elephants never forget so how come

I keep

forgetting.

and I used to see guys in shirts and ties and remember how you always let yours work loose by the end of the day and the top left corner would stick out from under your collar until it almost drove me crazy and I had to fix it for you but now

I just keep 

walking.

…

Since I got here I don't think I've talked to you once and actually said what I wanted to say before you went rushing off somewhere or other and told me you'd be back someday but you never were and I just accepted that until one day I just

didn't

care.

and the weirdest is when i finally get through and we do both have a minute and really we just sit there and breathe because what else is there to say if you can't be here with me I had it all planned out for you but it's never

important

enough.

...

And I don't know why but I still blast their third album even though we liked it least and I still cuddle with that scruffy thing even when my roommate laughs at me and I still keep calling even when I've got every note and giggle in your answering machine memorized but I don't 

even miss you 

an inch.